Friday, July 31, 2009

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

I know you were all worried earlier in the week that the blog down-ness was going to prevent you from getting your Haiku on. No way. Nothing can stop me from droppin' some ancient Asian poetic form on your face every Friday, and that's a promise (more like a luke-warm suggestion, really). This week is another odd one, as Hollywood seems to have fired both barrels of their blockbuster gun before Summer is even officially half over (premature cinematic release, really).

Here's how I see this weekend (haiku style):

1.) Funny People - $28 million

Sandler is worried,
his $100 million film streak
may come to an end!

2.) G-Force - $21 million

Guinea pigs are good.
But guinea pigs in 3D?
Now that's just divine.

3.) Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - $15.5 million

Buck up, young Harry.
Transformers wins the U.S.
But you're tops elsewhere!

4.) Aliens in the Attic - $14 million

Wants to be Gremlins,
but is nowhere near Gremlins.
Suck on that, Tisdale.

5.) The Ugly Truth - $13 million

Heigl is on my list.
And I don't mean the good list.
I mean the bad one.

I don't even need a wildcard this week, I feel that good about things. I'm going to regret that.

Happy Friday, gang!

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