Weekend box office results: Harry finally beats hairy

I could dress this up or I could be honest. I'll take your inability to respond in any way as a call for honesty: This week was boring with a capital PBS. I mean, seriously, the top grossing film in the last week of July made $23 million all weekend, which is what Transformers 2 made before the opening credits played once. I really hope that Hollywood is taking notice: Following the cool kids to the front of the summer line means there isn't enough food to go around, you dig? SPREAD. YOUR. RELEASES. OUT. Dingbats.

Here's the weekend results (haiku style):

1.) Funny People - $23 million (Accuracy of prediction - 89%)

Poor, Adam Sandler.
This year will break his hot streak.
Thank the Lord, Jesus.

2.) Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - $17.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 84%)

Harry beat the pigs!
By the power of IMAX.
It's a potent spell.

3.) G-Force - $17 million (Accuracy of prediction - 78%)

The pigs should be proud...
Actually they shouldn't be.
Sigh, but such is life.

4.) The Ugly Truth - $13 million (Accuracy of prediction - 90%)

Heigl is a diva,
so says all of the reports.
I just don't know how.

5.) Aliens in the Attic - $7.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 60%)

Well, this one is dead.
Sayonara Miss Tisdale.
We hardly knew ye.

Overall accuracy of prediction - 80%

I got a low "B."
But that is just fine with me.
I can do much worse.

Happy Monday gang!

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

I know you were all worried earlier in the week that the blog down-ness was going to prevent you from getting your Haiku on. No way. Nothing can stop me from droppin' some ancient Asian poetic form on your face every Friday, and that's a promise (more like a luke-warm suggestion, really). This week is another odd one, as Hollywood seems to have fired both barrels of their blockbuster gun before Summer is even officially half over (premature cinematic release, really).

Here's how I see this weekend (haiku style):

1.) Funny People - $28 million

Sandler is worried,
his $100 million film streak
may come to an end!

2.) G-Force - $21 million

Guinea pigs are good.
But guinea pigs in 3D?
Now that's just divine.

3.) Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - $15.5 million

Buck up, young Harry.
Transformers wins the U.S.
But you're tops elsewhere!

4.) Aliens in the Attic - $14 million

Wants to be Gremlins,
but is nowhere near Gremlins.
Suck on that, Tisdale.

5.) The Ugly Truth - $13 million

Heigl is on my list.
And I don't mean the good list.
I mean the bad one.

I don't even need a wildcard this week, I feel that good about things. I'm going to regret that.

Happy Friday, gang!