Monday, March 8, 2010

Weekend Box Office Results: like 3D then?

More than Avatar, the success of Alice in Wonderland this weekend just guaranteed that each and every movie will be released in 3D starting immediately. I am not exaggerating when I say that the ludicrous box office success of this terrible, terrible movie will do more to inspire studios to instantly switch all productions to 3D than Avatar's success, because Avatar was a phenomenon while Alice is a turd. The studio KNEW Alice was a turd, which is why they risked pissing off movie theater franchises by shortening the window between theatrical release and DVD release, because they figured people would see it right away, conclude it sucked, tell their friends, and the movie would be dead in a matter of weeks. This may still happen, but the fact that 3D bumped the thing into rarefied air only previously inhabited by sequels and comic book movies means we're going to be getting things like Precious in 3D. I am not kidding.

So let's take a minute to look back on the staggering weekend totals, haiku style:

1.) Alice in Wonderland - $116 million (Accuracy of prediction - 84%)

I hope it's worth it.
This film took down Johnny Depp.
Damn you Tim Burton!

2.) Brooklyn's Finest - $13.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 79%)

How did this happen?
Did YOU see Brooklyn's Finest?
I think this is wrong.

3.) Shutter Island - $13 million (Accuracy of prediction - 86%)

An official hit,
at some point during this week
it tops Marty's list.

4.) Cop Out - $9 million (Accuracy of prediction - 89%)

Not quite a real hit,
at some point during this week,
it tops Kevin's list.

5.) Avatar - $7.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 97%)

With no Oscar buzz,
this is the end of the line.
Bye, bye Avatar

Overall accuracy of prediction - 87%

A solid total.
Yep, I've got the hang of it!
Now to get FAMOUS!

Okay guys, that's it. Have a great Monday!!

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