Friday, May 28, 2010

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

Well, the good news is that as fast as the Sex and the City tramps arrive, they leave. What I mean is, they usually are super quick out of the gate and then fall of drastically because they have a loyal but small fan base. They're like Twilight for older, non-cat ladies. Whereas those gals have small appeal, everyone wants to touch Jake Gyllenhaal, especially when his abs have abs as they do in Prince of Persia. This means a big box office duel this weekend, and I'm sticking to my guns. I think PoP beats out SATC2, but just barely. Then again, I'm wrong so often I should work for Fox news.

Here's how I see the weekend box office, haiku style (oh, and this is for the 4-day stretch from Today through Memorial Day...I will not be blogging that day):

1.) Prince of Persia: Sands of Time - $62 million

Always bet on black.
But you NEVER bet against,
Jake Gyllenhaal's abs.

2.) Sex and the City 2 - $60 million

Have fun out there, girls.
You have a loyal fan base.
Too bad they are wrong.

3.) Shrek Forever After - $40 million

We have our first flop.
How bad do you have to feel?
You're the worst Shrek flick.

4.) Iron Man 2 - $19 million

Keep flying, Tony!
I want Marvel flush with cash.
It's Avengers time!

5.) Robin Hood - $12 million

Bye, bye Mr. Crowe.
By the next time we see you
you will be larger.

Okay, that's it. I'm out on Monday like the rest of you good Americans. Remember loved ones and those who died for the country, have a great weekend, and smoke some weenies for me.

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