Weekend Box Office Results: Greed is mediocre

Well, you can't call a first-place finish for a sequel that's more than 13 years in the making a disappointment, even if it was a tiny win. I mean, the success isn't exactly Affleckian (see how I do for you, Ben, I'm trying to make your name into an adjective for awesome), but it was a non-disappointment. Wall Street 2: Financial Boogaloo will likely drop off precipitously now, but hey, it won't be viewed as a flop. Oliver Stone's first sequel was also his first number one hit in a long, long time. In other news, America hates owls. At least ones that stab each other. And Betty White love or no Betty White love, nothing could save a generic movie like You Again. In other news, though, how about STRONG holds for Easy A and The Town, both dipping in the 35% range. That's kick-ass word of mouth for two kick-ass movies. Enough non-poetic talk, let's haiku this bitch.

1.) Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps - $19 million (Accuracy of prediction - 89.5%)

Money doesn't sleep
because it isn't alive.
This title is dumb.

2.) Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'hoole - $16.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 89.5%)

So, "no" on the owls?
Kids don't LIKE to pee themselves.
I mean, sure, SOME do.

3.) The Town - $16 million (Accuracy of prediction - 97%)

Keep on chugging, Ben!
I love a good redemption!
You lucky butt chin!

4.) Easy A - $10.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 83%)

Holy HOLDOVER!
I told you you would love it!
Now tell all your friends.

5.) You Again - $8 million (Accuracy of prediction - 65%)

No love for this crap.
We may all love Kristen Bell,
but just not this much.

Overall Accuracy of Prediction -85%

This should be higher,
but Betty White screwed me up!
Stupid Betty White!!!

Okay, that's it folks, see you tomorrow for more fun and adventures.

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