Friday, February 19, 2010

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

With only one major release, this week shouldn't be too much of a challenge. Then again, everything seems extra difficult this week for no good reason. It's weird that Martin Scorsese has changed from respected artistic director to major box office draw. The Departed sort of killed it at the box office, and although this only features Leo and not Matt Damon as well, it also looks more like a blockbuster. I only want good things for Marty, so I hope he enjoys this week. On the other hand, after reading tons of interviews this week with James Cameron, who is somehow looking and sounding douchier than ever, I hope I only have to write about Avatar for another 2 weeks (until Alice in Wonderland knocks it out). I'm going to try to get douche in the haiku this week. Just FYI.

Here's how I see the box office, haiku style:

1.) Shutter Island - $35 million

I heart you, Marty!
Enjoy another triumph.
Make more movies soon.

2.) Valentine's Day - $24 million

This should get one day
and then be forcibly pulled.
The title says so.

3.) Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief - $17 million

There may be sequels
but Harry Potter this ain't.
Not that I'm surprised.

4.) Avatar - $16 million

Enough is enough.
This movie has to go now.
Cameron is a douche.

5.) The Wolfman - $12 million

Oh, the film has hair,
But in terms of box office,
it doesn't have legs.

WILDCARD - Dear John - $7.5 million

By now I would guess
everyone who wanted to
already saw this.

Okay, that's it gang. Have a wonderful, safe weekend.

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