Friday, February 26, 2010

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

Well, another week is about to go in the books. It's been a fast one...but a tough one. Speaking of tough, watching the career devolution of the once beloved Kevin Smith is tougher than watching Cinemax with your parents. It's just embarrassing. I didn't need him to grow entirely out of poop jokes, but I needed him to seize what made him great early on. Turns out, he's just not that good and that makes me blue. What's funny (not his movie) is that Cop Out will likely be his biggest movie ever. Sure, it's going to only make like $40-50 million, but that will be enough to be his most sizable film. Between the fight with Southwest Airlines over getting kicked off for reasons that may or may not have had anything to do with his size and his constant defense of not progressing as a director, I think I'm saddened almost as much by Kevin Smith the person as Kevin Smith the public figure. I like him as a person, he's just settling. That's sad. Anyway, I think The Crazies is going to be more popular than people think, but it will be a grower not a bullet. Oh, and Avatar is going to pass $700 million. Yay for excess and greed. Geez, I gotta get going before I get too grumpy to write haikus.

Here's how I see the weekend, haiku style:

1.) Shutter Island - $21 million

Don't look now, Marty.
You're now a mainstream badass.
It took 3 decades.

2.) Cop Out - $15 million

Bye bye, Kevin Smith.
I'm sure you'll direct again.
I just will not care.

3.) The Crazies - $14 million

This is a sleeper
The critics seem to love it.
Let's see if it hits.

4.) The Avatar - $11 million

Slip on down further
I can't do this anymore.
Please. Please make it stop.

5.) Valentine's Day - $9 million

Did ladies love this?
They have no other choices.
It's not fair for them.

WILDCARD - Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief - $8.5 million

Is it big enough?
Is a sequel possible?
Who knows...and who cares?

Okay, that's it for this week! Be safe, be well, and see you Monday!

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Anonymous Sara Carns said...

I've always been a fan of Kevin Smith. "Cop Out" is not a flick I'll be rushing to the theater to see. I'd say he should stick to writing, but then there's, "Jersey Girl." Sigh... I miss the days of, "Dogma."

February 27, 2010  

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