A torrent of Tarantino tidbits

I've mentioned before that one of the more intense internet back-and-forths I ever got into was with a gentleman at "Some Country for Old Men." I love how I just made that sound like a war veteran recalling a particularly nasty scrape he was in. "Yeah, it was ugly back in aught 9. We discussed Inglourious Basterds so violently, we knew that it could only end with one of our rotting corpses...and even then, the yelling would continue in hell." It was a typical, hyperbole-laden argument with me trying to defend Tarantino against someone who hates on him, which somehow turned into me seemingly arguing that Tarantino cries tears of gold and poops perfect celluloid and the other guy saying that the director has single-handedly ruined moviemaking. It was as reasonable as teaching calculus to a dog. I now think of that heated online spat every time I post a rumor about the lantern-jawed foot fetishist.

Thankfully, Slashfilm.com compiled a whole bunch of QT rumors in one place for me, so we don't have to draw it out. First up, Variety noted that the handsome fellow illustrated above will be roasted by the Friar's club on October 1. Gee, how could you possibly make fun of this guy. He's just so overwhelmingly normal and reserved. I'm actually more concerned about his response speech, during which he's likely to break so many standards of moral decency with his mouth that Vivid "actresses" will be impressed. Second, there's a rumor (and I do stress rumor...this is apparently someone's cousin telling a friend of a friend who heard it at a liquor store) that QT is scouting Austrian castles. The theory was that it was for his take on Dracula, which I have no use for. He's already done vampires once with From Dusk Til Dawn and I don't need another iteration of Bram Stoker. However, someone was quick to point out that his locale scouting COULD be for Inglourious Basterd's prequel/sequel thingie. Now that...that I'm totally down for. Finally, they're making a movie out of The Switch, which is the novel by Elmore Leonard that preceded "Rum Punch" (the movie on which Jackie Brown was based). I adored that film, especially Michael Keaton's role. This adaptation is said to have nothing to do with Quentin himself, but he gave it the thumb's up, which sounds cool until you consider where that thumb may have been. All I know is that I hope we get a new film by him sooner than later, no matter what others on the Internets think.

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Tarantino to keep Killing Bill...but not soon

I kind of missed out on reporting how Quentin Taratino told the world on some crazy foreign TV show that he's going to do a third Kill Bill film, which really can't be called Kill Bill on account of Bill being killed (both on the screen and, you know, in life). I really like this idea because, supposedly, it will follow both The Bride (Uma Thurman) and her daughter being forced to confront the problems with revenge...namely that it never, ever ends once the cycle has begun (seriously, check out any global conflict ever). So, while I want the T-man to get to this, he's said he wants to wait a few years so that there's a 10 year gap between the last film and the next one, which I'm sure Uma Thurman's joints are really excited to hear, as she'll be safely in her 40s by the time he's ready. So, what does the foot fetishist have in mind next? Well according to Variety, Tarantino is thinking of a Western or a 20s/30s gangster movie. Neither of these excite me. As to the latter, the reason is obvious...we've seen more than one Tarantino underworld/crime movie. Sure, it's what he does well, but after the revelation that was Inglorious Basterds, I'm ready to see what he can do when he, you know, tries. The former (Western) doesn't excite me because, well, that's kind of what Kill Bill was. He'd be inevitably working the same themes of revenge in there and I feel like I already know what the movie would look and sound like. Why not do something totally different, QT? Why not option a comic book or see if some crazy studio will let you take a crack at a superhero movie? Could you imagine? "This Summer, from director Quentin Tarantino: Wonder Woman." God, I would see that 200 times.