When will I NOT write about Natalie Portman?

Let's get something straight: When there's news about Natalie Portman, I'm going to run it. When Natalie Portman does virtually nothing of consequence, but still can do this with her face:



I'm also going to run it. Thankfully for those of you who still consider this site to be a place of modest information alongside immodest cursing and vulgar speculation, there is a bit of news to go along with the above image (despite my assurance to you that there need not be for me to opine for several hundred words about what lingers above). Everyone on the whole Internet is reporting that this lovely lass:



(hominahominahomina) is going to star in Thor as the blonde-haired chunk-a-burnin' man's human love interest. I'm not sure how this is going to work because, in the comic, Thor turned into a regular dude named Donald, and it was Don who bagged his nurse (to ironically be played by the goddess above...whose eyes could command me to commit a litany of illicit activities should she so choose, seriously I just committed arson because I thought it's what she would want). Rumor has it that Donald is not in the script...so does this mean that Nat will be gettin' with a full-on, ridiculous hat-wearing God? A guy who looks like this?

With apologies to my man John Romita Jr (who straight-up drew the shiznit out of the guy in that cover), his costume is so ridiculous, I buy him as a viable superhero almost as much as I buy Ann Curry doing the news (one day we shall battle, Curry...one day). Still, if Natalie WANTED to bag herself a dude who looked like this, she could, as I'm pretty sure she could seduce a building should she so choose. Also, Jessica Biel (who many people freak out over as well, but I'm a one-gal obsessive) is rumored to have a part (likely as the evil enchantress or Lady Sif, a fellow Norse God), but she's as terrible an actress as Natalie is a good one, so I don't care. This has been your "marginal news (Natalie Portman officially cast in Thor) but really just a big excuse to look at Natalie Portman" movie blog of the day. Happy Tuesday!