Snyder will kneel before Zod

For the record, being right kicks ass. I mean, it doesn't kick as much ass as this guy does but close.
Zack Snyder is going to direct Superman. Yeah, who called that? I'll give you a hint, his name sounds like Schmyran Schmearick. Chris Nolan, who probably didn't have total autonomy when it comes down to hiring, at least had to see the writing on the wall. Giving an artist unfamiliar with visual spectacle this gig would have been yet another misfire waiting to happen. You have a guy with crazy limitless powers, you need to have a bit more action than most indie-converts are going to bring to the table. You want to give a budding cinematic auteur a superhero movie, you give them anyone but Superman to tackle. Further proof that they are concerned with the action angle: The villain is going to be Zod. I read a write-up on Slashfilm that talked about how this is being done because they want it to be an accessible film, and that having Brainiac or Darkseid be the villain just would have been too out there for audiences. Maybe. That probably did partially influence the thinking, but I actually think there's a better reason: They're evenly matched. The problem is always that Superman is the strongest, fastest, bestest hero out there, so the only thing you can do is pit an evil character who isn't as powerful as him against him. Or...you use the one character who is EVERY BIT as powerful as he is. People are already launching their "super-slow-mo" jokes and 300-based cracks on Snyder's hiring, but let me say this: For the first time in as long as I can remember, I'm actually totally excited to see what this Superman movie is going to look like. I think it can kick ass. I think it can be something amazing. But most of all, I think it kicks ass that I totally called it. Ya-boo!

Follow me on Twitter.

Requiem for a Superman?

First off, sorry about the lack of chatter regarding "The Event" today. As far as I can tell, "The Event" is that the Bears are 3-0. So my theories are still aliens or time travel, as there is no natural way that should have happened. So, if you're blinded by some kind of light today wherever you are, it's just my ear-to-ear grin at having a Bears team that is atop the NFC North, defeated the GD GB Packers, and are the only undefeated NFC team. Great Googily Moogily!

Speaking of eye-popping things, I may have been more than a little precognitive when I posted this image.Because apparently, in addition to the short list that was...listed...previously, we now have one more name to add to the Superman sweepstakes: Darren Aronofsky. Um...weird. I thought his name being tossed into the Batman hat pre-Nolan's anointing was offbeat but understandable. He is pulled by dark materials, as is evident in, you know, EVERY FILM HE'S EVER DONE. Can a director that talented stretch himself? Sure. Sure he can. But then do we lose the very aesthetic that made him great in the first place? I don't know. I still say if you want the best, most entertaining version of Superman, you want Snyder on that film. I really mean that. Anybody else may make a truly captivating, interesting film that presents a unique and original take on the character...and it will underperform and we'll be having this relaunch discussion AGAIN. And I don't like this discussion. I'd rather talk about the 3-0 Chicago Bears more.

Follow me on Twitter!

Supernolan?

Much like my optimism for my Chicago Bears increases during the off-season, Inception continues to grow on me the longer I'm away from it. That's a good thing, and is likely due to the sophistication of the near-hour-long climax, which culminates not only in pulse-pounding action and effects but an increasingly complex series of confrontations of the self-revealing, emotional kind. Jonathan Nolan, Chris Nolan's younger bro, had nothing to do with Inception. (That's what we in the business call a smooth transition.) He did, however, help work on Memento, The Prestige, and The Dark Knight with his big brother. When you also consider that Chris Nolan is now the overseer/godfather/grand poobah of Superman, you get the newest rumor that Jonny Nolan will be making his directorial debut with the boy in blue. People like to lie A LOT in the run up to the San Diego Comic Convention. I'm sure it has nothing to do with wanting to whip people into frenzies and guarantee enthusiastic audiences will pack presentations in the hopes of finding an answer (which is usually "no INSERTNAMEHERE is not going to play INSERTSUPERHEROHERE"). GeekTyrant may be just recycling a rumor I heard back when Chrissypants was put into the role of supreme overlord of all men Bat and Super for WB. That said, they did add a new twist, stating that he's currently working preproduction and has already screened some actors for the lead role. One of those being this guy:
That's Zachary Levi from "Chuck," who used to look like he was doing a Jim Halpert impression, but has since decided to change his look and bulk up a bit. I suppose he conceivably could play Superman, but he sure doesn't scream the part to me. Oh, and I hate him. Why? Because he starred in American Carol, which you probably have bleached from your brain but is the craaaazy right-wing, painfully unfunny spoof movie from the Zucker brothers. It's one thing to make a laugh-free comedy, it's an entirely different thing to make a right-wing puppeteered movie. Not cool, Levi. No Supes for you.