This much I know: I will NOT be Captain America

Oh, hi there. Call me old fashioned...okay, now I have to show "The State" clip. It's short.



Hi, I'm back. Where was I? Oh, yes. Call me old fashioned, but I believe that when you make a movie that largely centers around one character, you should have a good idea of what you're looking for in the actor to play that character sooner than a few weeks before shooting. Oh, and call me old fashioned, but I believe when you make a "short list" you shouldn't ADD actors to it. You should only cut the "short list" down to one. On both of these points, Marvel could not disagree more. When it comes to Captain America, Joe Johnston (the director) said that casting needed to be complete by March 1 (uh oh), that the main star wouldn't be that well known (uh oh), and that they were "narrowing things down" (uh oh). Well, it's March 16 and we've added several high-profile actors to the mix. List one was: John Krasinksi, Scott Porter, Mike Vogel, Michael Cassidy, Patrick Fleuger, Chace Crawford, and Garret Hedlund. Then we heard that all but Krasinski were cut. Then we heard that Vogel and Hedlund WEREN'T cut but that Krasinksi WAS cut. Then we heard that Chris Evans and Wilson Bethel were added to the list. Then Ryan Phillippe was added. Now, Channing Tatum was added. I've said it before, and I'll say it again...I have no idea what a Channing Tatum is. So, as near as I can tell. The requirement to play Captain America consists of the ability to pee standing up. I am still reluctantly supporting Ryan Phillippe for this list, although now that they've widened things, I recommend considering Ryan Gosling, who is actually a good actor. The rest of the people on this ever-expanding list kind of suck or at least are totally underwhelming. Now, the second part of the news today is that they are putting out feelers for the female role of Peggy. If you're unfamiliar with the comic, Peggy is the person who is dating Steve Rogers when he becomes Captain America, and she then waves goodbye as he goes to war. Yes, her role is a rich, deep one, consisting of both crying when he says he wants to go to war and then waving when he does go to war. How can any one actress possibly live up to these standards? Clearly, what they're going to do over at Marvel is conduct some kind of exhaustive search based on talent and potential to mine the depth of character. Here are the three choices (so far):

Kiera Knightley
Alice Eve

Emily Blunt

Yes, three British women of suspect talent but inarguable hottitude are being sought to play a weepy American. I'm beginning to think this movie is being cast on some kind of dare or at the very least it's being done by drunks.

Why not start shooting on July 4?

You know things have reached an epic slowdown regarding movie rumors and news when I'm posting information regarding a movie's initial production start date. Woo hoo, let's hear it for the wit and whimsy that surrounds scheduling! In an interview with Fangoria, Joe Johnston talked a bit about Captain America. Let me be the first to say how scared I am that it's Joe Johnston working on the World War II-centric The First Avenger: Captain America movie. How scared am I? I'm more scared of that than the title The First Avenger: Captain America. People who make titles are stupid. Johnston was discussing Wolfman, which somehow won me over with its hairy goodness and I now want to see it, and he revealed that Cap will shoot in June. Why is this cool? Well first and foremost it means Marvel's plan to dump not one but two major projects on our faces in 2011 is well on it's way (Thor hits us in the nuts with a hammer before Cap throws his shield in our sternum). Second, it means that we are inching ever closer to finally nailing down who will play Cap. My vote remains for John "He looks like a cartoon pilot" Hamm (shown here):

If Marvel is willing to cast someone who is old enough to feed himself and DOESN'T want Hamm (though I don't know why), I will accept Aaron Eckhart.

Sadly, Marvel will inevitably want to skew younger, so I will also accept the following:

Ryan Gosling

All this is based on "talent" and "acting," so we'll likely see some dude from "Gossip Girl" or freakin' "Friday Night Lights," which I could care less about no matter how good you say it is rest-of-the-world. Give us an actor with chops to play the Godfather of Marvel superheroes. That's all I ask. And now we know that the announcement should be developing in the next two months or so.