A rewrite I approve of on the first blush

The Wrap is reporting that The Crow remake I have feared for so long is changing direction a bit. This is a good thing, considering the guy behind it was the guy who last directed League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Enjoy having that be your last film, Sir Connery! I loved the original Crow, perhaps too much as my teenage years were spent with posters of a certain leather-bound, black-lipstick wearing character everywhere. That probably didn't do good things for my prowess with the ladies...or anyone. I never dressed like the Crow. I want that on record. Anyway, the big news is that they've brought someone good in to clean up what is likely an incredibly simplistic and annoying draft by Norrington. That person is Nick Cave.
Singer, songwriter, novelist, screenwriter, and sometimes owner of a super-awesome mustache (pictured above), Cave is most known for making macabre, creepy shit that is still super awesome. Pretty much textbook for this material. The Proposition, a film which still makes me feel like I crawled inside a murderer and slept for awhile like a tauntaun in Empire Strikes Back, was all the proof I needed to conclude that this marriage may be a good one. Here's hoping that Nickie brings back the much needed vibe this project yearns for. Why? Because if they had stopped after the first movie, I would have said they should never remake it. But they didn't. They made a slew of them, including direct to video stuff, some of which involved Edward Furlong! It's going to be hard to scrub that icky out, but I think if anybody can replace Furlong-icky with awesome-icky, it's Nick Cave. He can go ahead and put that on his business card, and I won't sue.

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Tuesday Dumping

This isn't going to become a permanent column. I don't want my Junk Drawer getting jealous. Still, I'm face with two choices: Either (A) overlook a bounty of interesting news or (B) dump it, and dump it fast. I'm going with choice (B), because I think this dump will make me feel better.

Here are a bunch of quick looks at stories I should spend more time on but won't because I'm busy and because I'm thinking about "Lost."

• If they weren't talking about whether or not Kevin Smith is too fat to fly Southwest Airlines (a feud that has launched 10,000 fat jokes), everyone in the world was talking about a certain rumor. This includes the Godfather of movie critics Roger Ebert (be he ever so holy). Everyone was tweeting and posting and commenting and generally spazzing to the max about a potential remake/sequel of Taxi Driver by Lars von Trier that would have the blessing of Martin Scorsese and potentially feature Robert DeNiro. Interesting thoughts were espoused on the subject, huge treatises were written, much flagellation and whining and gnashing of teeth occurred...and it turns out it's all a load of shit. von Trier's business partner tells ScreenDaily that it ain't happenin'...and it was never happenin'. Rumor = KaSMOOSHED.
• While we're in the business of KaSMOOSHING, Chris Pine probably won't be Captain America. I know, he'd probably be great, but are we really ready to live in a world where Captain Kirk and Captain America are the same person? Too weird. I mean, unless you had Shatner doing both, because then F**K YEAH! He would over-emote the Red Skull to death, yo.
  
  
  
  Anyway, it ain't happening because Joe Johnston already claimed he wanted an unknown for the part ages ago, and if that weren't enough, I think the shooting would at least potentially conflict with his "Stardates." Are there really enough nerd properties out there now that famous dudes each get two? Ryan Reynolds as both Deadpool AND Green Lantern for example? This seems a bit greedy to me.
  
• Oscar nominees are being asked to prepare 2 scripts for thank yous this year. One with the cool stuff we like to hear (when they try to relate to world peace, world hunger, or totally just sound like shallow asshats who don't understand that 99% of what they do is pure entertainment and not game-changing art), and one with every accountant, tax preparer, and grape fluffer who make their lives easy. The latter will be filmed by a camera to be shown on the internet and the former will be what goes out live. Nobody's going to do this, for fear that in relegating their accountant to the Internets they'll suddenly develop massive tax problems, but it's a good idea. I hope some people do it. It makes for a more interesting show and I don't think it makes anybody look less gracious. I think this may be a good excuse to have the winners put the spotlight on themselves, something you KNOW they want to do anyway.
• A new Tron Legacy trailer may be released on February 24th. In related news NOBODY BOTHER ME ON FEBRUARY 24th. Apparently, there's a countdown of some kind using viral marketing that suggests the new trailer will drop that day. I hope so because I'm itchin' for some glowin' lightcycles like you wouldn't believe!
  
• Finally, I saved the most hallucinatory for last, Nick Cave is doing a motion capture version of The Threepenny Opera with Gollum. Yep. That's Nick Cave + Andy Serkis (the guy who played Gollum in Lord of the Rings) + CGI animation + Bertold Brecht's "Threepenny Opera" = Holy shit that's insane. I'm pretty sure this will give my nightmares nightmares...but I kind of can't wait.

Okay, now we're caught up. On to "Lost!"