Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

Here we are again, gang. Another Friday, another chance for me to embarrass myself. I have to say it's been a long week, mostly aided by the fact that Omaha's weather has decided to emulate that of Blade Runner. I haven't seen the sun in so long that it's like being Sarah Palin (not because she lives in Alaska so much as because of where she usually keeps her head). Anyhoodle, here's how I see the weekend box office, haiku style:

1.) Saw VI - $29 million

Please do not see Saw.
You see Saw, we'll see more Saws
So no more Saw, see?

2.) Paranormal Activity - $20 million

Look at the indie!
I guess this type still does well.
At least it's something.

3.) Where the Wild Things Are - $16 million

Okay, listen up.
Let's reward those who made this.
Give them more money!

4.) Astro Boy - $12 million

What? Not in 3D?!
Kiss your box office goodbye.
It's sad, but it's true.

5.) Law Abiding Citizen - $11.5 million

Word of mouth is strong?
I'm not sure this is quite right.
You're sure you meant this?

WILDCARD - Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant - $10 million

Pick just one title.
Cash in on the vampire craze.
NOOOOO! John C. Reilly?!

Okay, that's it gang. Have a great weekend and see you on Monday!