Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Movie Review: Hereafter

Justin reviewed this one so I didn't have to. FYI: I totally got his back and have absolutely no remorse about another Eastwood panning. Suck it, Filthy Harry.

Slow Death
Eastwood almost makes a movie about the afterlife
Justin Senkbile

No matter how deserving it may be, there’s no way to feel good about panning a Clint Eastwood movie. The man is a force of nature: in just the last two years he’s directed and produced four films, composed the score for two of them and starred in one. And he’s 80. His resume certainly demands respect; unfortunately his latest film, Hereafter, is a silly, sappy mess.

Hereafter hops around the globe visiting its three main characters. First there’s Marie LeLay (Cécile de France), a Parisian journalist who’s just miraculously survived a tsunami, albeit with some odd after effects. Then there’s Marcus (Frankie McLaren), a young London boy with a junkie mother whose twin brother has recently died. And finally, our star Matt Damon plays George Lonegan, a disillusioned psychic turned factory worker.

Obviously, what these three characters have in common is their proximity to death, either their own or someone else’s. What's strange is that Eastwood doesn’t ever explore grief, fear of death or even spirituality. He simply describes people who have a close relationship to death. For over two hours. Sounds weird, right?

Death and loss are obviously compelling themes, but to make this story (by Peter Morgan, writer of Frost/Nixon and The Queen) work, they also have to remain pretty evanescent. The simplest explanation for Hereafter’s failure is that Eastwood, a product of traditional Hollywood genre cinema and one of the most classical directors working today, just isn’t suited for such a job. His old world instincts result in a film that, although clearly a very personal work, is so full of plot, details and explanations that there isn’t any room for the audience to reflect upon their own experiences and impressions of death and grief. More than the editing (there isn't nearly enough of it) or the dialogue (needs several re-writes), this is Hereafter’s essential problem. It’s like Norman Rockwell trying to work with Picasso’s perspective. Hats off for giving it a shot, but it’s not surprising that it didn’t quite work.

The overall film is disappointing, but quality tends to vary from scene to scene. And the same goes for the acting, with each of our principal cast members pulling off a genuinely compelling scene or two, only to deliver a strikingly awkward line reading a few moments later. Bryce Dallas Howard, as Melanie, a bubbly night school classmate of George's, leaves one of the film's few lasting impressions in this department, though she only appears briefly.

The bottom line is that in 129 minutes, I found only three reasons to see this movie: one wonderfully acted kitchen scene between Damon and Howard, one hilariously awful scene outside a palatial French hospital, and Miss de France, because she’s adorable. Everything else either feels emotionally shallow or is, frankly, uninteresting.

In spite of all this, let’s keep our hopes up for Eastwood’s next film. God knows its right around the corner.

Grade: D-

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Friday, December 11, 2009

Clint Eastwood apologies to me

Look, Clint, I'm not saying I don't understand why everybody trips balls over your work. I get it, really. I mean, you're old and shit, so everybody in Hollywood knows you from when you were a mediocre actor with only two emotions: seething rage and gruff love. You're beloved by suits because you tend to make blatant Oscar bait that leaves little if any lasting impression (for realsies, when was the last time anyone you know said "You know what I want to watch? Mystic River.") You are lauded with praise even when your movie is racist (seriously, Gran Torino isn't good...it just isn't), and your latest effort has Morgan Freeman playing Nelson Mandela, which is casting so obvious and so destined to be praised that it almost doesn't even need to be filmed to win awards. So, yes, I get that you don't HAVE to do anything that I like in order to be hailed as a cinematic genius, even if that's like considering twinkies to be an elite food because a billion people eat them daily (that's a statistic...it's wrong, but it is a statistic)...but I really appreciate you making an effort by casting Bryce Dallas Howard in your new supernatural thriller, The Hereafter, starring Matt Damon.
http://www.celebrity-exchange.com/celebs/photos61/Bryce-Dallas-Howard-1.jpg
Bryce is still the best work of Ron Howard's life, and I'm eager to see her in just about anything that has the potential of not totally sucking. Meanwhile, I wonder if Eastwood will use super ripped Matt Damon or goofy fatty Matt Damon. Either way, he'll win.
http://www.awardsdaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/damon.jpg
Clint, now this doesn't mean we're friends. I'm not going to start endorsing your crap for awards season, but you knew that anyway. Also, I want it on record that every year you age, I get slightly less convinced you could take me in a fight. Right now, I'm about 35% sure I could whip you.

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Friday, September 18, 2009

Eastwood to examine afterlife, likely for personal reasons

I'm not the world's biggest Clint Eastwood fan. The world's biggest Clint Eastwood fan lives in an attic in Minnetonka, Minnesota and has a life-size Eastwood sculpture made entirely of fingernails. I like to believe I made that up, but there's likely some guy in Minnetonka right now going "NOOOO my secret...MY SECRET!" I don't like Eastwood that much at all, to be honest, which people are shocked to discover, until I remind them that this man did several movies where a chimp orangutan was his costar. That's not funny, that's real.

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2006/03/20/apes_wideweb__470x342,0.jpg

He has multiple Oscars and is considered a living legend. That's him next to the chimp orangutan above. Just saying. Anyway, Eastwood swears he is done acting in movies after he gave the last that he had to give starring as everybody's favorite redeemable bigot in last year's surprise hit Gran Torino, which is Italian for "saggy man boobs." Next up for the chimp-lover is Hereafter, which is going to allow a lot of insensitive people like me to make jokes about how Eastwood is old. The film is written by Peter Morgan, who wrote the brilliant Frost/Nixon and is working on Bond 23, so that's a good start. Also, it stars Matt Damon, which...next to Eastwood NOT starring is the best news so far. The film is supposedly a "supernatural thriller," but Movieline got a bead on things, revealing that it's actually a tense drama (go figure) about three people contemplating the afterlife. There, now that's the boring stuff I'm used to from old Clint! Damon's character can see dead people, and two other characters have near-death or death-related experiences that Eastwood will likely melodramatically explore. I suppose with Damon and Morgan involved, it could be good, but Moses supposes his toeses are roses, so think about that.

Update: An astute reader pointed out I misidentified the animal above. Also, I apparently called the orangutan a chimp.

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