Web of Lies: So...Spider-Man 4 rumors are a daily thing now

What happens when something gets so routine that I seem to be doing it every single day? I give it a whimsical column name. In this case: Web of Lies. Seeing as how everyone is tripping over themselves to see that my dream of Rachel McAdams as the Black Cat is appropriately shat upon, I figured I would name this column after the heartbreak I feel. Only one thing can comfort me.

Okay, all better. Today's Black Cat rumor is from UGO, who report that Julia Stiles has been taking meetings about possible involvement in Spider-Man 4, presumably in the role that McAdams had stolen from her by miscreants and ne'erdowells. Go figure, Stiles is also a pretty girl (as opposed to the wretched dogbeasts that are most actresses in Hollywood) and she has also done fine in a few films (The Bourne Identity series wasn't exactly demanding on her artistically). I'm just not sure if I'm sold on it.

Sure, really attractive...but when you can have a Lamborghini you don't drive the Rav-4. There's still time to do the right thing, Sam Raimi. Turn this web of lies into a paradise of hope! Pretty please.

Spidey-sense tingling! (Get used to this)

I'm going to be wrapped around Spider-man 4 news tighter than a high-school girl's Twilight book cover wraps around her History textbook. If you don't like that, there are plenty of blogs out there that deal with important social issues (like the one called "This Is Why You're Fat"). With the fourth film ramping up production, I'm going to be freaking out on a near daily basis over some rumor or another, only to find out that they're all malarkey. Buckle-up Spider-fans (or mild Spider-enthusiasts), it's going to be a bumpy ride (and by bumpy ride, I mean volumes of idle speculation and lurid photos). Speaking of which

That long-legged lovely above (who is showing that she has the physical prowess to be the Black Cat in Spider-man 4) has now officially claimed she is not the Black Cat in Spider-man 4. McAdams tells Entertainment Weekly that it's a bunch of hokey, but we've heard this song and dance many, many, many times before. Like when Bradley Cooper said he hadn't heard about The A-Team or The Green Lantern, both of which he was considered for. I'm not going to say that I totally dismiss what that lovely, lovely lady says...but we'll have to wait and see. The second bit of news is far more concerning...SpoilerTV has reportedly snagged a call sheet that is asking for twin toddler boys with red hair...leading everyone to believe that there's a chance Spidey knocked up MJ and have a little spider-baby. Well, let me be the first to say calm down. If I were guessing, I would say that this is for a dream sequence of some kind. That or they've finally made a good choice and married MJ off to someone else. I doubt that second one, but the first one makes the most sense to me. There's no way, NO WAY that they are dumb enough to Superman Returns this thing after the turd that was Spider-Man 3. They have too much to prove. Plus, with the role of the Black Cat (whomever may play her) almost totally for sure, the thought of introducing a love interest for a guy who just had a kid is too much for a superhero movie...at least I hope so. Oh, and then there's this problem. You can't expect us to believe that Peter Parker would knock up this:

when he could get with this

Suspension of disbelief my butt.

An excuse for more Spidey chatter and McAdams pics

In my daily trolling to bring you the best of the best of the bullshit news, I have been stumbling across people stumbling over themselves to talk about Spider-man 4. See, the film is starting production soon, which means we are very quickly going to having things we thought to be rumors confirmed and things we thought to be totally confirmed blown apart. Case in point, Slashfilm.com verified with Hey U Guys that the Black Cat is in the new script and that the following actresses HAVE been considered for the role:

(Rachel McAdams...shown once more at what had to be the best photo shoot in the history of photos and shooting)

and

Romola Garai (who looks almost exactly like Bryce Dallas Howard)

Supposedly, this version of the Black Cat will be the daughter of someone who usurps the Daily Bugle from J. Jonah Jameson (egad!). Her daddy may or may not himself be a villain, potentially the Vulture, but that would be kind of lame. Personally, I would like to see them work with a smaller villain or bring back Doc Ock (not going to happen), but I think that tying the Black Cat to the Vulture seems kind of like the sort of thing Sam Raimi has liked doing in this series. The only problem I foresee is that Raimi is going to try to convince us that Peter Parker would choose this:

over this

Yeah, didn't think so.

If this is true, the cat is in the bag

Stop the presses, folks. The inter-blog-o-net-o-sphere just erupted with the following rumor: Rachel McAdams is going to be the black cat in Spider-man 4. Visually, that means:

is gonna play

Heart...stopping...in...chest....

I'm so happy right now.

Supposedly, hit mania.com has it on good authority that McAdams's Black Cat (wow that feels good to say) will be paired with a male villain who will not be the Lizard. Because the kitty is a thief, my brain instantly flashes to the Kingpin, which would be great if they have the rights to him. If not, I hope it's another mafioso type guy, because it would be great to see all of the effects money go to Spidey himself, not some whacked out baddie. They've done big, let's try small. Plus, this fits with what worked in the second movie, a bad guy who Peter is connected to as well. This could sooooo redeem the franchise...and change my life.