Web of Lies: Good news/bad news

Once more we return to the sticky wicket that is the Spider-man 4 casting process. As you may recall, we have moved through a veritable who's who of hotties in a quest to find a new female figure in the new Spidey outing. When the rumors began flying like bagels in a bagel fight (if you don't know about a bagel fights...you're lucky...damn lucky), we created Web of Lies to document the continued falsehoods and excuses to post hot pictures of lovely actresses. Well, here we are again, and we get to post more awesome images:

Wow, there may be nothing worse than seeing John Malkovich when you think you're about to see something beautiful. Seriously, if he and James Carville were to have a freaky-face contest, humanity would be destroyed. Now, the scuttlebutt right now is one that should cause people like me, a dude with more Spider-man comics than he has DNA strands, into a frenzy. See, according to Movieline, Malkovich will play The Vulture. That much is actually cool, because he is a talented actor and looks the part (see):

It's the second part that will send fans nuts. Apparently, the Vulture will have a daughter named Felicia Hardy who becomes the Vulturess. In the comics, Felicia Hardy is the Black Cat, a skin-tight-suit wearing cat burgler with bad luck powers. Of course, this may be a little too close to Catwoman for some people, and as we all know, after Halle Berry's effort, no one should be close to Catwoman. This irritating news is buffered by the fact that this is the lady playing The Vulturess (who needs a better name, STAT):

Now, allow me a brief aside here. I'm cool with this. I'll tell you the reasons why as briefly as I am able and if you stay, I'll give you another Anne Hathaway picture.

1.) I like it because it mirrors the father/son Green Goblin stuff. Thematic echoing is big for Raimi and it works here.

2.) I like it because the Black Cat, while hot, was a stupid character. She had BAD LUCK powers, for the love of God, and when ISN'T a woman in comics dressed in skin tight leather. If she were any less original of a character, she'd have been "created" by Stephanie Meyers.

3.) I like it because it will provide great mid air visuals, which have been my favorite effects moments in the series.

4.) I like it because it isn't Venom.

5.) I like it because movies are not comic books. Let's face facts, people, everybody flipped shit over the "organic web shooters" in the first film and it was great. Purists don't seem to understand that the biggest issue at hand is whether or not the movie is good. I don't care that Felicia Hardy is going to be the Vulturess, I care that the Vulturess not suck like Topher Grace did.

So, there you go, the latest in our web of lies. Now, as promised, less of me and more Anne Hathaway.

You're welcome.

Web of Lies: So...Spider-Man 4 rumors are a daily thing now

What happens when something gets so routine that I seem to be doing it every single day? I give it a whimsical column name. In this case: Web of Lies. Seeing as how everyone is tripping over themselves to see that my dream of Rachel McAdams as the Black Cat is appropriately shat upon, I figured I would name this column after the heartbreak I feel. Only one thing can comfort me.

Okay, all better. Today's Black Cat rumor is from UGO, who report that Julia Stiles has been taking meetings about possible involvement in Spider-Man 4, presumably in the role that McAdams had stolen from her by miscreants and ne'erdowells. Go figure, Stiles is also a pretty girl (as opposed to the wretched dogbeasts that are most actresses in Hollywood) and she has also done fine in a few films (The Bourne Identity series wasn't exactly demanding on her artistically). I'm just not sure if I'm sold on it.

Sure, really attractive...but when you can have a Lamborghini you don't drive the Rav-4. There's still time to do the right thing, Sam Raimi. Turn this web of lies into a paradise of hope! Pretty please.

If this is true, the cat is in the bag

Stop the presses, folks. The inter-blog-o-net-o-sphere just erupted with the following rumor: Rachel McAdams is going to be the black cat in Spider-man 4. Visually, that means:

is gonna play

Heart...stopping...in...chest....

I'm so happy right now.

Supposedly, hit mania.com has it on good authority that McAdams's Black Cat (wow that feels good to say) will be paired with a male villain who will not be the Lizard. Because the kitty is a thief, my brain instantly flashes to the Kingpin, which would be great if they have the rights to him. If not, I hope it's another mafioso type guy, because it would be great to see all of the effects money go to Spidey himself, not some whacked out baddie. They've done big, let's try small. Plus, this fits with what worked in the second movie, a bad guy who Peter is connected to as well. This could sooooo redeem the franchise...and change my life.