Oh. Hell. Yes.

This next bit of news makes me almost as happy as thinking about "Lost" tonight. Relax, "Losties," I said ALMOST. Still, it feels me with more glee than is forced onto the faces of ice dancers, it pumps more Joy down my throat than someone trying to kill themselves with kitchen soap, it inspires more confidence in me than too many beers. Shane Black is going to direct the Doc Savage movie. Huzzah! For those who somehow don't remember. Black directed Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, the greatest noir film of the last decade and a movie I loved so, so dearly. Here's another clip. FYI, I still do the bit from this movie where he describes people as slightly warped famous people. I couldn't find the clip where he mentions "Native American Joe Pesci" but you get the idea from his Steven Segal description in this clip.

Seriously, I just want Shane Black writing and directing everything. That said, if I had to pick ONE thing, it would be Doc Savage. Why? He's the greatest pulp fiction hero EVER. He's got zero "superpowers" but is a "physician, surgeon, scientist, adventurer, inventor, explorer, researcher, and, a musician.” He's the shit. That should be the tagline. "Doc Savage. He's the shit." The thought of Black working with a character like this is just so....AHHHH!!! I love this so much. Here's what Savage looks like (at least one version) by the way.
To quote from one of my favorite fake reviewers (Neil Cumston) when he was describing Kurt Russell in Grindhouse: The man looks like he could f**k a bulldozer into six minicoopers. He's a dumpster full of dropkicks.

I cannot wait for this. Happy Tuesday!

I want to Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang this Doc Savage news

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang is as awesomely awesome as awesome things can be awesome. From the ridiculously blazing, rapid-fire dialogue to the sinfully delicious Michelle Monaghan to the pitch-perfect noir feel, I simply could not get enough. I want 20 more movies where Robert Downey Jr spouts off Shane Black's dialogue, such as the following:

"Harmony: Well, for starters, she's been f**ked more times than she's had a hot meal.
Harry: Yeah, I heard about that. It was neck-and-neck and then she skipped lunch."

Seriously, just so good. Anyway, Black told AICN that he's writing Doc Savage, a movie based on the 1930s pulp hero who was a "physician, surgeon, scientist, adventurer, inventor, explorer, researcher, and, a musician." This is about as close to a home-run sure thing as I've ever heard.

So this leave us guessing who will play the nearly always shirtless Savage? Check him out:

I'm going to make two diametrically opposite suggestions: (1) The Rock. Yeah, I know, he makes shitty movies and has never found his niche, but this could really be it. He obviously has the physique and is so inherently likable that I want to see him finally find his home. Spouting off Black's dialogue instead of the cheesy bullpuckey that's normally flowing out of his Disney-fied mouth could be great. (2) Ryan Gosling. Now, he may be dead, I can't be sure. I haven't heard hide nor hair of or from him since he became the next big thing...and then did nothing. Having seen how talented he is, it may be nice to put him back in a big budget bruhaha and see how he does. Really, it's think outside the box with those two or go through the usual suspects that are rumored for everything. I prefer the former. Also, one more Kiss Kiss scene before I go:

"Harry: Well what I'm doing for the guy who likes to bluff is I'm playing a little game called Am I Bluffing? [Loads one round into the revolver to play Russian Roulette] Where is she? Where the f**k is Harmony? You want to play hardball? I can do that. [Spins the chamber and points the gun] Where is the girl? [Shoots the guy in the head]
Perry: What did you just do?
Harry: I just put in one bullet, didn't I?
Perry: You put a live round in that gun?
Harry: Well yeah, there was like an 8% chance.
Perry: Eight? Who taught you math!

Michelle Monaghan can kiss, kiss, bang, bang all she wants

In a world where Cameron Diaz is rumored for every single role requiring ovaries, where Renee Zellweger, Charlize Theron, and Halle Berry are Oscar winners, and where Sandra Bullock is still the rom-com queen, why is it that Michelle Monaghan isn't one of the most famous women in film? Exhibit A:

Obviously, there's no need for an Exhibit B, but if there were, I'd point to her work in Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang and Gone, Baby, Gone as examples of this gravel-voiced angel's ability to nail just about every emotion in the human experience...and yet, you walk in and say "I am about to have a restraining order put on me by Michelle Monaghan" and people yell "who?" Well, first they yell "Get out of here before I shoot" but then they yell "who?" The good news is that Monaghan is making inroads towards the fame she so richly deserves, as she is starring alongside Zack Galifianakis and is reuniting with Robert Downey Jr (I do show a lot of hot chick photos...so in the interest of fairness.



The film is called Due Date and it sounds totally generic but potentially very popular. Downey Jr must get home for his wife's birth (Monaghan) and he is accompanied by Galifianakis in a total rip-off of Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. The film will be directed by frat-boy comic God Todd Philips. Prior to this film, Monaghan will be starring in Sofia Coppola's Somewhere, which is really exciting because Coppola is perhaps the most gifted female director working right now. So, remember this face

As if you could forget it.