Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Um, there is no choice here

Did you know that Amy Adams used to be a Hooter's girl?
So let that be a lesson to all douches making lewd comments and considering inappropriate touching, as well as an inspiration to those working for a tasteless establishment named after slang for your body parts who are constantly besieged by the gropers and the pinchers! Be nice to Hooter girl because Hooter girl may one day become hella-famous! If, by some chance, you do end up walking in Ms. Adams' overpriced pumps, hopefully you do not make a simple decision more complicated as the delightful redhead is currently doing. See, she has a choice between three roles right now:
  1. Opposite Matt Damon in director Cameron Crowe's We Bought a Zoo, in which she would play the wife of a man who...um...bought a zoo
  2. Opposite Chris Pine in first-time director Alex Kurtzman's Welcome to People, in which she would play a single mother and struggling alcoholic
  3. Opposite MUPPETS IN THE NEW MUPPET MOVIE
For real? This is a dilemma for you? Is the dilemma how to tell Crowe and Kurtzman they can suckity suck suck it? Is it that you don't want Damon and Pine's feelings to be hurt that you'd rather rub up against Gonzo? Seriously, what the problem is? You get offered a chance to act with Kermit, YOU DO IT! I can only hope for the sake of the legacy that is "The Girl from Hooters who Made Good" that she chooses well. That, or I'm going to have a new preemptive tip to hand out to those Hooter waitresses. I kid, of course, as I've never set foot in a Hooters because I value dignity.

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Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I would do the same thing, Jason Segal

If I were hired to write the new Muppet Movie, I would make one thing clear: Only one human is capable of playing the character I'm about to write and that's me, baby. How could you possibly pass on your chance to play with the Muppets in person? Oh, sure, writing them is awesome, but I want to be punched by Miss Piggy, warble with Beeker, and run from Animal. Heat Vision is reporting that Jason Segal, writer of the upcoming Greatest Muppet Movie Ever Made, is no dummy. He just got cast as the lead. As for the script, Slashfilm spilled more than I've heard before with the following:

"Segel’s role is as human Gary, a chap whose best friend is the puppet bear Walter. Together they go on a journey with Gary’s girlfriend Mary to defeat the evil Tex Richman, a man who doesn’t find the Muppets funny and thinks he can smell oil beneath their studio. There are plenty of celebrity cameos written into the script (please, Sean Penn, say yes) and a great showcase piece each for most of my favorite Muppets."

I think I just peed a little. Sean Penn? That's just...inspired. I'm so full of joy at this moment I think I'm ready to run around and wave my arms around like a Muppet myself. Now here's Gonzo and some chickens just for fun.



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