Weekend Box Office Results: Fatty's still a draw

I do hope the world realizes that I'm just having fun with the "Russell Crowe is fat" jokes. It's amuses me because he's a douche. So, fatty had a good weekend, as his film did far better than I thought it would. It's not going to last, because the buzz is NOT strong on the film, but hey, it's not going to be a flop like I thought it might be. I wonder what the first huge misfire of the season will be (fingers crossed it's Shrek 4). For now, let's talk about what is firing on all cylinders.

Here's the weekend box office results, haiku style:

1.) Iron Man 2 - $53 million (Accuracy of prediction - 88.5%)

Believe it or not,
This has made 200 mil...
and that's not enough.

2.) Robin Hood - $37 million (Accuracy of prediction - 97%)

Fatty's still got it!
I think the draw was Blanchett.
I'd rather look there.

3.) Letters to Juliet - $14 million (Accuracy of prediction - 96.5%)

Something for ladies?
Actually, Iron Man 2
has had more women!

4.) Just Wright - $8.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 97%)

Hey Common, what gives?
Didn't you used to do rap?
Please do that again.

5.) How to Train Your Dragon - $5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 95%)

Please go away now.
You've got oh so much money.
So please just leave now.

Overall accuracy of prediction - 95%

Look at that total!
Do I know what I'm doing?
Likely it's a fluke.

Okay gang, happy Monday to ya. Go be productive.

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Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

It's Friday, y'all. That means that I can officially mark the end of this shitpocalyptic week. Seriously, if I've been a douche, I'm sorry. I've been swimming downstream from the biggest douchefishes and got it all over me. This means I've been somewhat off in my bloggery. For that, lo siento my good friends. Speaking of lo siento, it sounds like the biggest mea culpas (man do I love mixing 3 languages in one sentence) is going to come from the studio that thought we needed another Robin Hood movie. Let me be the first person today to make the joke about a Brian Adams song or Kevin Costner. The dirty secret is, I really liked that first movie, even if I still do not understand how or why Morgan Freeman the scimitar-tossing Moor ended up in it. Anyway, this one is 100% Freeman free, but does feature chubby bunny Russell Crowe getting his best grimace on. Oh, and the goddess that is Cate Blanchett. She's almost worth doing anything for, including seeing this movie. At any rate, it's not going to be the number one movie, it's going to do decent opening money and then fade away before you know it. Mark my words, this one will be on video in a fortnight. Man, I am busting out the strangest terms in this post, huh? Okay, enough of this, it's Friday and you good people came here for predictions.

Haikus away!

1.) Iron Man 2 - $65 million

I think this will hold.
The word of mouth is still good.
Downey is a god.

2.) Robin Hood - $35 million

No bows and arrows,
this Robin's weapon is new:
It's his appetite.

3.) Letters to Juliet - $15 million

The lovely Seyfried
still can't choose a good project.
Avoid at all costs.

4.) Just Wright - $9 million

Wait...Queen Latifah?
AND former rapper Common?
COUNT ME...somewhere else.

5.) How to Train Your Dragon - $5.5 million

Look...here is the deal.
If your dragon ain't trained yet
You'd best just give up.

Okay, that's it for me guys. You have a wonderful weekend. I'm going to try to drink my troubles away as the good Lord intended. Have fun!

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