The gritty truth? I love it.

When I heard that the Coen Brothers were the ones remaking True Grit, I thought "Okay, I can get behind this." When I heard that they were considering Jeff Bridges for the eye-patched role embodied by John Wayne, I thought "now we're talking." When I heard from everyone and their mother this morning that Josh Brolin and Matt Damon are in talks to star as the other leads, I thought "did I dream about eating a tuna-flavored muffin with Ellen Degeneres or did I really eat a tuna-flavored muffin with Ellen Degeneres...oh, and that Josh Brolin/Matt Damon news kicks ass." There is literally not a better cast I could have thought of for this movie, and the chances are now high that we're talking about one of the few remakes that is going to be poised for serious Oscar lovin' (and I do not mean a flirty massage from a trash-can dwelling grouch). Also, I had nearly forgotten why I love Brolin so much, beyond his great performance in W, but then I remembered this:

Yeah, it's hard not to laugh your ass off while watching the two handcuffed guys discussing how one got tased and the other offers some kisseyface. That's just good stuff. So, there you have it, I can't wait for True Grit and I love Josh Brolin's kisseyface.

The Dude is...a dude?

Variety is reporting that Jeff Bridges, who just doesn't get enough love (seriously, the man was in Tron, Iron Man, and The Big Lebowski...he can quit and still come out on the top of the dork heap), is in talks to reteam with the Coen brothers for their remake of True Grit. I've thought long and hard about it and there was two ways I could go with this post. (1) I could ruminate about the nature of remakes, about how we bitch and kvetch but then something comes along that stops us in our tracks. Like, say, the Coen's remaking a movie that one John Wayne an Oscar. Why is watching that any different than seeing Julie Taymor's take on "The Lion King" or any one of the million innovative versions of Shakespeare's plays? Nobody cries "REMAKES SUCK!" when they see a new staging of "Death of a Salesman." Hell, even Marvel Comics pulled a great one with their "Ultimates" line, which was basically a remake of their best stuff. OR (2) I could just show a clip from Lebowski. I'm tired folks. (Warning NSFW language...but you knew that).



That clip really tied this post together. God I love that movie.

Like ill-prepared Mexican food...WE'RE BACK!

In what I can only assume is the opening salvo in the impending and inevitable war in which the machines kill each and every one of us, The Reader's server went all Hal on us for a few days there and turned this blog into something that was updated as infrequently as Mischa Barton's IMDB page. I wasn't at the office for the resolution, which I assume ended in a standoff with the server on one side of the room and a brave soul holding a blowtorch next to an iPod declaring "Turn it back on or I'll do it, you metal son of a bitch, I'LL DO IT!" Point is, we are back and more Australian than ever. This is what counts as an apology for my absence, I'd send flowers but I'm not a wuss.

As luck, fate, and divine intervention would have it, Thursday is the day that I peek inside my "junk drawer," which is a clever construct in which I hit a bunch of news blurbs of interest all at once. Let's recap all of the fun news that you would have gotten sooner if the R2D2-lookin' compu-asshole hadn't decided to wonk out.

• Some chick from Twilight I've never heard of is not going to continue being in Twilight and is somehow acting as though she wasn't just spared from a firing squad. Her name is Rachel Lefevre (her last name is French for "Favre"), and she looks like this (thanks to Slashfilm.com for the image):
I could walk past her in a grocery store without noticing. Anyhoodle, she was replaced by Bryce Dallas Howard, a much hotter and more well-known actress (and fruit of Opie's loins), in a move summed up by someone on Twitter (I forget who, it was DAYS ago now) who noted that between Spiderman 3, Terminator 4, and Twilight 3, Howard has really earned her high-school reputation of "girl with worst taste in sequels." What makes this story "interesting" (those were sarcasm quotes) is that the lovely redhead above wasn't so much told by Summit that she was being dumped. This is not the first dick move from the studio, who dumped Catherine Hardwicke after her first directorial effort, as though it were her fault that the Twilight series has all the intellectual integrity of a shitty episode of "Dora the Explorer." Every time you think that this franchise can't sink lower, it manages to abase itself further. Next up: Jennifer Love Hewitt is honestly actively seeking a part. I say do it.

• Everyone is peeing their pants over this new Coen Brothers trailer. That includes ol' soggy-pants Ryan
  
• You can't see the Iron Man 2 footage they showed at the San Diego Comic Convention, but you can see a re-enactment that is hilarious.
  
• Not totally geeked for the geek-out-geekfest that is the new Tron movie? Here's the theme for it performed by Daft Punk, who is scoring the film and touring in support of it. Suck some techno, fools.
  
  Tron Legacy Theme by tuxboard
  
  
• Universal is doing The Lorax as a 3D animated feature. It has subtle themes of environmentalism, if you think Kathy Griffen is subtle. I am actually really looking forward to this. They should totally get Al Gore to do the voice.
• Devin at Chud.com like GI: Joe. I have now slid this movie up a notch on my anticipation scale from "Hey what smells so bad? Oh, God, it's what I'm eating!" to "I'm not sure if this hurts or feels good."

That's it for now. I guarantee there was more I missed, but blame the evil machines for me missing it. It feels so good to be back.