About that Hobbit rumor...

As you know, I will run just about any rumor regarding Spider-man 4 the minute I hear it. Now, this is usually because it affords me the opportunity to show images of pretty ladies being pretty and because it means I get to discuss Spider-man, which is perhaps the subject on which I am most versed (I'm rubbish at small talk, unless you want to discuss why The Shocker is the best lame Spidey villain). However, when it comes to Lord of the Rings stuff, I usually take a more measured approach. This is not only because I have a lot more people salivating over each nugget of news, but because I am not as schooled on the subject (spoiler alert - I never made it through the books...they're boring and I prefer the movies, which are a-freakin'-mazing). So when Latino Review, who I trust a TON, posted a note suggesting that Tobey Maguire was the choice for Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit, I gave it a few days to marinate. As all things are on the LR, it was a well-written, well-substantiated article, but something didn't seem right. Maguire is about to dive into another franchise movie, he supposedly has some measure of commitment (or an option) to do more of those Spidey movies, and he frankly doesn't quite look the part. Still, it could work. So I waited. Then THR comes out today and says, nope. Ain't happening. Their source? Tobey Maguire. Now, this wouldn't be the first time (and sure won't be the last) that an actor straight-up LIES about being involved with a project. For reasons I can only assume are similar to my dad insisting we walk away from buying a car at least once, just to prove a point, I guess these guys have to make it SOUND like they're not interested, even if they are. Still, given that it didn't make much sense to begin with, and given that he said no, I'm willing to say this isn't the guy. At the very least, not the guy I would go with. See, here's the part where, if this were a Spider-man rumor, I could discuss at length who I think should play the part. Sadly, I really can't, as the only image coming to my mind is the Bilbo from the cartoon, and that ain't right because there aren't many chipmunk-toothed, curly-headed short dudes in Hollywood.

I don't know, I'd like to see a good actor who needs a franchise and exposure get it. Maybe a Ryan Gosling or a Jeremy Renner? I don't know. I'm just tilting at windmills here people.

Nerds breathe sigh of relief; smells like cheez-its and desperation

And now, a Lord of the Rings graph joke, to redeem myself for the above title of this post:



Get it? If you don't, congrats on being better than me. Anyway, this is actually just to tell you that Variety confirmed that the Tolkien estate has settled their claim against New Line, paving the way for the new Guillermo Del Toro-directed Hobbit goodness that we've all...I MEAN...you all have been screaming for. Oh who am I freakin' kiddin', those movies are so awesome that I ran around pretending to be Legolas for like a year...a far better year than the one I spent pretending to be Legless. The suit had threatened to slow down production, but this likely means we're about to start really hearing things heat up. I'd look for the announcement of who is playing Bilbo within a few weeks. Also, because I feel like talking about it, I would have had no problem with the ridiculous, soft-focused, nearly pornographic ending to Return of the King if it sounded like this.



God, that just should not be as funny as it is to me. I have the maturity of a sapling. Happy Wednesday.

Weekly Wrap-Up: Disappointment, Despair, and Diagrams

What a week we've had, huh? Let's hit the highlights before calling it quits:

• Here's the only Venn diagram I'll likely ever make.
• No THIS is the worst idea ever.
• New Moon has an infomercial apparently starring a charming young gay soft-core porn star.
• You should read David Eggers's "Where the Wild Things Are" excerpt.
• This would be so cool if it were true!
• Avatar disappointed me. I bet Jim Cameron doesn't even care.
• Everybody loves haikus.

Have a great weekend everybody, here's hoping Brett Favre gets hurt on his first preseason snap (Go BEARS!)

One rumor to rule them all....

Okay nerds, I know I've spent a lot of time opining and discussing the monstrosity that is the Twilight franchise, but daddy loves you, too. Here's some seriously unsupported rumors surrounding a certain beloved film/book trilogy (no, not White Chicks, they're only on the second chapter). Marketsaw, which is a blog dedicated to 3D movies (and a good one...they've scooped on Avatar like champs), has a tiny little rumor that just may be true (again, they have gooooood sources, unlike me who has the power of an Internet connection and imagination): The Hobbit is back to being 3 movies, the first two parts will be in 3D, and Peter Jackson wants to return and make a bridge film to the existing trilogy. Chances are, LOTR fans just made a happiness deposit in their pants. What's more, the site reports that Smaug will be a combination of practical (meaning tangible, physical) effects and CGI, and that the design is dark and foreboding (the image below is on the site but is NOT concept art, but is too kick ass not to include. Marketsaw continues to reiterate that despite public confirmation that The Hobbit will be 2-parts, there are 3 films in the works, and that the author of the report has SEEN things to confirm it. Oh, that's just too awesome to not be true. I believe that if Jackson comes back, that all of the cast will rejoin him. I loved the series, I will hold out hope that this report is all true (and there's a chance that it is). So, go my nerds, go forth in joy and embrace the day!