Cast-a-palooza

It's election day. Obviously, unless you are intentionally hiding it from yourself, you can guess the direction my voting lever pulls. This is a movie blog, and I won't stand up on this soap box and rail on about who you should vote for and why...or even do the whole "I don't care who you vote for, just vote" schpiel because I DO care who you vote for, and if you're going to vote for someone stupid and evil I would, in fact, prefer that you stay home. This is me asking everyone to just do a little thinking, a little objective research, and THEN vote. I truly believe if everyone voted out of reasonable research and not fear, anger, or because they were told to be some media personality, we would be far, far better off. So do that. K?

Now, I mention the election stuff because it set me back a bit. See, I had to vote this morning, which means not starting this blog writing until later, which means I'm running behind. So I had two choices: I could either give you SOME of the casting news explosion today in multiple posts or I could deliver one giant kablooooooey of casting shenanigans all at once. I opted for the kablooey because, hello have you ever met me?

Ladies and gentlemen...start your moderately-interested engines, it's time for CAST-A-PALOOZA!!!! I ask and answer the following questions:

1.) Wolverine may be in X-Men: First Class? - Hugh Jackman took a cab to the set of X-Men: First Class, according to rumors from....someone. There is nothing backing this up, but it's probably true. Why? Because ever since Marvel did that cool Iron Man/Avengers bit at the end, all comic movies (especially Fox copycats) want to do that too. A cameo from Wolverine would fit, Jackman is already preparing for Wolverine 2: Talk to the Claws right now so probably looks like this:
And he's a good guy, a team player, and probably thinks it would be cool. It's a rumor, yes, but I'd like to believe it so I will.

2.) Leonardo DiCaprio is a serial killer? Take that, ladies. The drool-inducer is now going to carve up ladies in Devil in the White City. Not a whole lot of news beyond that, but it's good news. Apparently the giant book that this is based on is really good and DiCaprio hasn't done his obligatory "I'm a famous actor who everybody loves playing against type as a bad guy" role yet. My prediction? His first Oscar. We love to reward people for shit like this.

3.) Tarsem Singh directing Snow White? - Apparently, visionary director Tarsem Singh, who also keeps himself busy composing my nightmares, is going to do the serious, Brothers Grimm version of Snow White, not to be confused with the potential Johnny Depp/Cameron Diaz vehicle that's more goofy and action based. Singh has done some brilliant stuff with more placid, boring material...so the thought of him uncorking on a fairy tale is pretty friggin' great. This is one of those decisions that moves the film from so far off my radar it's not even a blip to OH MY GOD I CANNOT WAIT! Nicely played.

4.) Cameron Crowe wants Scarlett Johansson, Amy Adams, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, or Rachel McAdams? - Just not for the same things I want them for. What? I want them to write haikus for me. What did you think I meant? Apparently one of the following women will be Matt Damon's wife and live in a zoo in We Bought a Zoo, which is the most literal title for a movie since The Dilemma.

She would be a great choice because she loves animals. You can tell by the leopard print.

She would be great to star against Matt Damon because she worked at Hooters. I don't know why that prepares her, but everyone keeps talking about how she used to work at Hooters.

Um, not sure about this one. She was considered for the role of Mary Jane or Gwen Stacy in the Spidey reboot, so being Matt Damon's wife seems a little creepy. Damon's down though.


She deserves the part BECAUSE I SAY SO, OKAY?!

Whoever wins, if this is the actual shortlist, audiences are going to be very happy.

5.) Baz Luhrmann wants Natalie Portman or Keira Knightley? - But not for the same things I want them for. What? I want them to write guest columns on the blog. Jeez, guys, what did you think? Luhrmann is casting his Daisy in The Great Gatsby, which may have Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire in it. He has about 5 names on the list, but you remember how I said I was running behind right? Here's the two that matter, the ones who would do the best job:

She who is rumored for every movie ever: Natalie Portman!!!!

She who only does period pieces: Keira Knightley.

Like I said, there are others, but that's not important right now. I actually think this adaptation could work. Luhrmann is often good (when he's not doing Australia), and the cast seems strong with DiCaprio and Maguire. That's the extent of my thoughts. Gotta run!

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It's like Clash of the Titans...on acid

Tarsem Singh was going to be the next big thing...right up until The Cell. For the record, it's a great movie. Sure, J.Lo has the acting talent of a Snickers bar, but she was asked to just pose and look pretty, which was the reason for her creation. Still, people did not feel the same, which is why today there are so many discarded copies of that DVD that I believe they are used for currency in Lichtenstein. Singh's last movie, The Fall, buttered our boy Ben Coffman's bread to the point where it made his best films of that year. Thus, it is with great anticipation that I am looking forward to War of the Gods, which as of today is no longer War of the Gods but Immortals, which doesn't sound as cool but will still star the following:

Freida Pinto
Isabel Lucas
Mickey Rourke

Yeah, I know...how hot is that cast? You see Freida and Isabel and you're all, "how can this get better" and then WHAMMO...Mickey Effin' Rourke. Growl. Also featuring Henry Cavill, Stephen Dorff, Luke Evans, and Kellan Lutz, I want to see the thing because of Tarsem's description of the screenplay (about men fighting the Gods) alone: "Basically, Caravaggio meets Fight Club. It’s a really hardcore action film done in Renaissance painting." If it were only a film about a God war featuring Freida Pinto, I would likely see it. Add in Tarsem and that description and I am pretty much going to start working on a time machine to make this movie come to me sooner.

A good day for Greek mythology and a great day for a friend of mine

If it seems like I'm distracted while I'm writing this, it's only because I'm still mostly thinking about last night's episode of "Lost" (it's a grower). But since you didn't come here to watch me write, because that would be an insanely weird web site, I'm going to give you a little somethin' somethin' in the way of some pretty cool movie news. I have an affinity for Greek mythology to the point where I took an entire Greek drama class, even though I didn't have to...and now that I think about it, that class kind of turned my life into a quasi-Greek tragedy for awhile (interesting). One of my fave comics right now is "The Incredible Hercules," which is hip deep in Gods and Goddesses. I'm totally pumped for Clash of the Titans, even though the original will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart. So, with all of this in mind, here's a sexy photo shoot with Freida Pinto.


Now, you're thinking, Ryan, as much as I enjoyed/respected/was disgusted by that, I want to know what this movie news is! According to Variety, Pinto will be playing Phaedra (an oracle princess) in War of the Gods. It's going to be a 300-style film directed by Tarsem Singh, so that's incredibly cool too. Singh is really underrated as a director, and I can't wait to see what he does with this concept. The official description of the film is as follows:

"A purported bastard who retains an allegiance to his mother despite the fact that he longs to join the quest of a king who is battling demons in ancient Greece later embarks on a grail of discovery that has him finding he is the king’s son and also fated to become his country’s greatest hero as he leads the successful war against long-imprisoned Titans who are hoping to use the demons to restore their power.”

Any film that begins with "a purported bastard" and ends with casting Freida Pinto works for me. Plus, I know that there's a very good friend of mine who is now eagerly anticipating War of the Gods, possibly even counting down the days in some creepy calendar he's carved into his flesh. He loves the Pinto that much.