Movie Review: The Town

My hopes were high, and Benjy didn't disappoint. Such a remarkably strong film, and although I didn't have time in the review to go into my small problems with the very end, they are minor quibbles for a film that blew me away while watching it. What a great weekend for movies.

Suck It, Damon!
The Town proves Affleck is on the ris


With The Town, writer/director/star/unfair-target-of-derision Ben Affleck pumps two armor-piercing rounds into jokes about his being the lesser of the creative forces behind his joint Oscar win with hetero-life-partner Matt Damon. Eff that noise, whatever Affleck’s staggeringly brilliant freshman directorial effort Gone Baby Gone didn’t prove, this clip-emptying, Heat-channeling, character-sketch-inside-of-a-heist-movie does. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Within the next two decades, the synonym for actor/director will be Affleck, not Eastwood.

Opening with a truly post-“CSI” bank robbery, complete with bleach pouring and total forensic awareness, The Town introduces Doug MacRay (Affleck). A former small-time hockey pro, MacRay has an engineer’s mind and a criminal’s DNA, the latter of which has a gravitational pull collapsing his life like a dying star.

During the robbery, Doug’s lifelong pal and increasingly looser loose cannon James (Jeremy Renner) takes bank manager Claire (Rebecca Hall) hostage. Although they were fully masked, the gang fears Claire may reveal something to their FBI pursuer Agent Frawley (Jon Hamm), so MacRay strikes up a risky relationship to probe her mind…and subsequently other things.

Claire, unaware she’s now under the sheets with the guy under the mask, is that omnipresent fixture in crime movies: She’s the gal you’d go straight for. But MacRay has multiple albatross anchors preventing his flight, most notably criminal mastermind “The Florist” (Pete Postlethwaite), MacRay’s former girlfriend and current pill-popping cokehead Krista (Blake Lively) and James, who can’t bear to let him go. All this adds up to the falling anvil that is “the last job.”

What Affleck’s familiar Boston safety blanket lacks in the use of the letter “R,” it makes up for in atmosphere. Refusing to succumb to the Bourne Identi-ifcation of action sequences, the steadily-shot crime feels real because of place, and the characters feel real because of Affleck’s uncanny ability to coax quietly intense performances. For instance, when Claire and MacRay’s believable courtship is interrupted by an accidental encounter with James, the subsequent tension is as brutal as Hans Landa’s pastry consumption in Inglourious Basterds. Everything from the assault rifle discharges to Krista’s heartbreaking revelations hit and hit hard.

Unlike The Departed with its kamikaze F-bomb droppage and nearly entirely yelled dialogue, The Town only raises its voice when it has to. This is not to say that The Town exceeds the quality of Scorsese’s Best Picture winner, but the fact that it is the obvious comparison point here should be enough for Affleck to walk tall. Take that, Matt Damon.

Grade = A

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Double dose of delightful

Every Friday should start with a double-dose of Jennifer Garner news.

As if to celebrate husband Ben Affleck's sophomore directorial effort, the only Jenny from the block I've ever cared about has committed today two projects that I now only want to see because the dollars I will pay to look at the woman above are virtually limitless. Better Living Through Chemistry will force Garner to pretend she's attracted to Jeremy Renner, when she only loves me. Renner will play a guy who hates his life and Garner will have sex with him. And there's painkillers and other pharmaceuticals involved. It's basically like a "Jersey Shore" adaptation, only Garner is no Snookie (in that she is a regular-sized, non-syphilis carrier).

The second film...sorry, two films, two pictures.


The second film is far more generic. In The Odd Life of Timothy Green, Garner will play the role of "Mother." It's about a prodigy or something, but it kills me that these are the sorts of roles this talented actress is stuck with. Honestly, she's got something special, even if you don't find her to be a physical goddess, which she unquestionably is so don't say that in front of me or I will inflict violence. If you saw Juno, you know she is just as good playing nuanced, subtle roles as she is kicking ass like in "Alias," the absence of which still haunts me. Anyway, Jenny G news times 2 today, so celebrate!

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Ryan's Junk Drawer

With great junk, comes great responsibility - "Better Off Ted"

Thursday, that bastard of the business week keeping you from Friday, is nonetheless the most celebrated day for those who are giant enthusiasts of my junk. And there are many among you out there who cannot wait for this day for just that reason, because feasting on the goodness and quality of the junk I present to you as an offering of goodwill and love is perhaps the most joy you will experience.

Obviously, by junk I mean movie news and not the thing that you thought I was talking about because I don't think you thought I would really talk about that thing you were thinking about, right? This is where I put all the little itty-bitty movie nuggets that don't deserve their own blog. They are insignificant alone, but together comprise the magnificence of my junk. Now, we begin by looking at the image above of an alleged junk drawer. It's creepy and from Highlights Magazine FOR CHILDREN! I start off by picking an item and writing a story about it, for no good reason whatsoever. Today's item is the braid-thing in the upper left corner. After years of covering fluff pieces for Action News Channel 8, Samantha Hornswaggle had enough. Tired of car shows, old people doing adorable things, and any story involving a pet, Samantha took out her rage on an unsuspecting target. Having been assigned to do an in-depth profile of what happened to the Taco Monkey who starred in several commercials, her anger overcame her. What became of the monkey is not important. What is important is that Samantha's junk drawer now has souvenirs of missing subjects of fluff stories, starting with the Taco Monkey's tiny rope he used as a lasso.

Okay, enough shenanigan-ary, let's get to some movie nuggets, dammit!

1.) Ryan Reynolds is going to star in everything from now on - I believe there was a congressional mandate of some kind passed that Ryan Reynolds will now be if not in every movie, in every other movie. While finishing Green Lantern, the ab-tastic sarcasm spewer discussed the ongoing saga of Deadpool, the movie that ain't gonna happen.

He basically said that it is nothing like the God awful representation in Wolverine, that it is a filthy, violent movie that breaks the fourth wall and really pushes the envelope. He insisted the film is alive, made some clever observations, and then probably banged the interviewer (male or female) while Scarlet Johansson watched because he's married to her and he can still get any human he wants. Look, I think this sounds promising, but it's not going to happen. It just isn't. There's no reasonable way that Fox won't screw it up, that his busy schedule will allow the film to be worked in, and that the budget will be high enough to get what needs to be done in it given that it sounds "filthy." This is great lip service from a man with coveted lips, but I would sooner believe the Israeli/Palestinian peace talks result in lasting respect and human decency than Deadpool actually happening.

2.) Fatty FIGHT! - I don't like Kevin James. Mostly because I don't like things that suck. I have as much desire to follow his career as drink year-old milk.

Shown here with his wife who is obviously with him because she finds him sexually attractive, the douche already has Paul Blart 2 on his radar and is now adding a movie in which he will play “a physics teacher whose school faces drastic cutbacks. In an attempt to save his best friend’s job and the music program his students love, he moonlights in the octagon as a mixed martial arts fighter, ultimately leading to brawling in the UFC.” This is great news for everyone looking to further legitimize MMA in the mainstream media, as there is no better spokesman for anything than Kevin James. Just look at what he did for gay marriage after Chuck and Larry or for mall security guard respect after Fatty Falls and Runs and Stuff. This new MMA with fatty movie will do $100 million and spawn 3-4 sequels, so I'm not going to get too worked up about it. It's not good for my blood pressure.

3.) Hawkeye to have potentially less stupid looking costume - We've seen Captain America in his red-white-and-blue jumpsuit, Thor in his cape-laden muscle suit, Iron Man's tin, and the Black Widow in her skin-tight booby-zippered spandex, but we have yet to see what Hawkeye is going to look like. And he could look really stupid.

Forget the purple-and-blue color scheme, the pirate boots, and the giant H on his head, what's with the chain-mail armor ONLY around the neck? Are you fighting crime or about to hit Vaseline Dreams, Ohio's hottest gay nightclub? Actually, the Avengers could really use some measure of sexual diversity, seeing as how they're going to treat their only (that's right, I said ONLY) female as a collection of nice body parts on display, it'd be nice if they revealed Nick Fury was into dudes or something. Anyway, Jeremy Renner just revealed that the costume will be "more realistic" and hinted that he may get to touch the Black Widow. Ah, yes, because by all means, let's have the ONLY woman function mostly as a romantic subplot. You know what, I love Joss Whedon, and I think he will probably do a better job than it sounds like right now balancing out all of these characters, so instead of bagging on the lack of diversity and whatnot, let's focus on the positive here: Hawkeye may not look like a reject from Pirates of the Virgin Islands, the direct-to-video softcore porn version of the Johnny Depp series.

4.) We are much closer to ninjas fighting pirates - I do enjoy me some "Deadliest Warrior," the Spike TV show that pits historical warriors against one another, even though the hosts have the combined personality of toast and a hatrack. Seriously, every week the curly-haired nerd practically turns to the screen and begs for a wedgie. Also, they have the production budget of a public access show, so the final fights are usually just God awful. That said, they let me think about, say a pirate fighting a ninja for awhile, so it's still an awesome exercise in television brilliance.


Now comes word that there's going to be a movie. Wait, what? apparently, the plot is "under wraps," but they're going to give them a budget to do a movie based on this. I think we all know what this is going to be like: Bill and Ted's Excellent Fight Club. They're going to have some crazy, "Mortal Kombat" style fighting club that plucks the best warriors in history and have them fight in a bloody battle to the death inside some weird stadium. Mark my words, this is the plot. All I care about is that they (A) don't have Q-tip head and freaky tall guy discussing the "computer analysis" at all, (B) don't worry about big name actors and focus on the best stuntmen in the world doing lots of fighting, and (C) don't somehow introduce a love story to make the ladies like it, because ladies willing to see Deadliest Warrior: The Movie don't need a love story. This could be horrible...or horribly awesome.

5.) Trailers, Parked - Sadly, I have no trailers of interest today. Just a movie that pairs Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp and an Oscar contender featuring Christian Bale. Nobody would be interested in either of those, right?

First up is The Tourist, which is going to make all of the money. Does it look generic? Sure. Does it also star Depp and Jolie? Yes. Then it's going to make all of the money. I kind of want to see it myself. See, you can't resist it.

The Fighter was at one point an Aronofsky film, and I was more excited then. But considering that Christian Bale is one of the best actors out there, even though he may have a small temper issue, watching him do his thing is always important. Plus this may be the film that gets Mark Wahlberg his SECOND Oscar nomination. Wrap your mind around that. Marky Mark is a multiple Oscar nominee? Somewhere the Funky Bunch rages.


That's my junk for the week. Hope it was enough for you. Hit me up tomorrow for weekend plans.

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This Mission just got a whole lot more possibler

Things were looking bad for Tom Cruise. Knight and Day did exactly what you'd expect a generically titled, generically plotted, generically directed light action movie featuring a star on the decline and Cameron "I'm-a kill your movie" Diaz to do. Thus, the studio clutched it's collective sphincter at the prospect of Mission Impossible IV, which really needs to be Mission Impossiblest, just to set the stakes high enough. Nevermind my undying love for the third film or the fact that the fourth one already has Simon Effing Pegg coming back and Brad Flippin' Bird directing, two facts that should make everyone want to see it, the fourth film was in trouble because Cruise wasn't star power enough. Enter Jeremy Renner.
Shown here either (A) checking Julia Stiles for lice, (B) coming out as a cannibal, (C) smelling her head to see if she did, in fact, use his conditioner, or (D) about to get slapped, Renner is about to be a mega-star. Between The Avengers and his Hurt Locker buzz, not to mention what appears to be a good turn in The Town, he's poised to be the next male "thing." Hey, if we've given that title to Gerard Butler, there's no reason Renner can't have it. If the rumors are true and Renner is going to play the younger agent Cruise is training, this could be incredible. I don't want him playing the bad guy, even though I can tell he has that edge to him. What I'm trying to say is this: MI4 is going to kick your ass. I'm calling it now. Believe it or Jeremy Renner will lick your face.

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When given the chance, YOU WORK WITH PTA

Speaking as someone whose best chance of working for PTA will come after I have children, when PTA (Paul Thomas Anderson) asks you to join his film...YOU JOIN HIS FILM. I don't care if the role is "mute who stands in the corner touching himself," if someone who may end up being this generation's Stanley Kubrick asks you to partake in his vision, you drop whatever lame-ass romantic-comedy, talking-dog tentpole, or reimagined TV-series-turned-movie you were working on and get your ass to whatever whacked out location he is using. Why am I ranting about the need to bow to every whim of the man behind Boogie Nights, Magnolia, Punch Drunk Love, and There Will Be Blood? Because The Playlist is reporting that PTA is no longer waiting for a studio to come to their senses and fund the project, he's putting his damn cast together NOW. As all proper devotees of this writer/director/demigod know, his next inevitable masterpiece is about Scientology. Except, it's not called Scientology to avoid getting sued, but it may as well be called Schmientology in the film it's that obvious. Philip Seymour Hoffman is playing "The Master" (L Ron Hubbard...I mean, J Don Blubbard) and Jeremy Renner is also set to star. It's time to add the ladies, and PTA is beginning with a doozy. The role of Hoffman's wife (in the movies, in real life NOBODY touches Philip Seymour Hoffman because, you know, gross) has been offered to....
This is great, because someone really needs to keep Reese from doing something like Four Christmases 2 (would that be 8 Christmases or is there some kind of multiplier I'm forgetting). As for the role of the daughter of Witherspoon and Hoffman (again, in the movie, because in real life, Hoffman doesn't even have genitals), there are three actresses in contention:

Deborah Ann Woll

Amanda Seyfried

Emma Stone

Now, that Deborah (I believe it's pronounced deb-ORR-ahh, like on MILF Island) is out because...hellooooo did you see those teeth? Right, I'm being told she's a vampire on "True Blood" and that's why she looks like that. My apologies, now she's out because she stars on "True Blood." Seyfried is probably out unless PTA includes a plot that involves her writing letters or reading letters or stealing letters from someone she loves in some way (and unless it's "Nicholas Sparks presents Schmientology). So that conveniently leaves the only person who should be considered: EMMA STONE! You know my love for her, you know her talent in my eyes, and you know that I love PTA for coming to the same conclusion. Further proof the man is a genius.

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Jeremy Renner had best practice saying "Sugar Tits"

If it looks like I have a giant thing for Jeremy Renner today...well, don't tell my wife. There was little question after The Hurt Locker that the dude was going to blow up (really, really poor choice of descriptors there). Turns out, he's going to ride his "I'm a crazy" personality from that film into a potential turn as the tit-ular Mad Max (played with relish and zest...making him sound like a pickle...by actor-turned-sugar-tits-caller Mel Gibson). Renner told his hometown newspaper, "The Modesto Bee," that he is screen testing for the role with George Miller. That makes this one half-step above the normal BS rumors of such casting, which are normally based on some chubby dude's marijuana-enhanced "rumor mongering" (as in, "hey, Jessica Alba should totally play that one naked chick in her next movie). I have to say that my interest in a Mel Gibson-free Mad Max movie was at burnt sienna on the color-coded scale of anticipation. Renner's potential involvement cranks it up to fuscia without question. That said...I wonder what justification there is for a new Max movie? I mean, are there really aspects of that character or world we haven't seen yet, or are we just going back there to go back there. If Tina Turner doesn't close out your franchise, I'm not sure who can (anyone who said Cher, shame on you). I will say that Neil Marshall's Doomsday gave me a little big of vigor to see Max back, as his lunatic rip-off of the series fell somewhere between honest homage and Tarantino-ing the source material. Point is, at the end of the day, Jeremy Renner deserves to be crazy famous, so I'm really pulling for him hard on this one. If you just read the first line of this post and the line that proceeds this one, I'm going to need therapy.

Review: The Hurt Locker

I would have gotten this up sooner but, let's face it, I was feeling like cold turd up until this morning (now I just feel like tired turd). This film was really spectacular. The only thing that disappointed me was that some other jerk got to my original idea for a title, "Hurt's so Good," before I did. All joking aside, if Kathryn Bigelow doesn't get an Oscar nomination for this one, the Academy is as sexist as we theorize. By the way, I caught "The Colbert Report" with Bigelow on it last week...I'd like to point out the grand dame of action movies is 58 years old...yeah, you read that right, 58 (according to IMDB, which lists her birthday as 1951) and she looks like this:

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Kathryn Bigelow
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Tasers

Seriously, you have to respect that. And for those who are all "hey, he just mentioned how sexist the academy is and then talked about her appearance" you're right. I suck. But come on, if I look a fraction that good at 58, I want whatever we use instead of the internet at that point to be totally a buzz with my appearance. Period. No more pissing around, here's the review:

Bigelow’s Big High
The Hurt Locker mainlines tension

Kathryn Bigelow’s The Hurt Locker is so relentlessly tense that it is as though she synthesized a chemical hybrid of a first date, a car accident and the Cuban Missile Crisis and attempted to inject it directly in her audience’s eyeballs. This politic-free trip alongside a bomb-disposal unit in Baghdad is a brutal buffet of action movie clichés, filtered through that pesky lens of reality. To put it plainly, The Hurt Locker is the best movie of 2009 thus far.

Jeremy Renner is Staff Sergeant William James, bomb-disposal expert and certifiably insane son-of-a-bitch. James, a veteran of conflict in Afghanistan, voluntarily joins a team composed of Sergeant JT Sanborn (Anthony Mackie) and Specialist Owen Eldridge (Brian Geraghty) after their last leader pursued other career opportunities in heaven. By-the-book Sanborn and perpetually frightened Eldridge soon find that bomb disposal is to James what heroin was to Sid Vicious. What follows is sequence after sequence of believably constructed unbelievable moments, punctuated not by the explosion of ordinance but by conflicts of character.

Thanks largely to Mark Boal’s deft and terse script, The Hurt Locker may one day stand as the definitive narrative Iraq War movie. Whereas most features are eager to make social statements, Boal and Bigelow instead effortlessly capture the terror of the innocuous—litter may explode, cell phones can be ignition switches and rubberneckers could be malicious evildoers. Their soldiers are apolitical, equally shown to be noble, heroic saviors and flawed, angry war addicts. The environment is equally as diverse, ranging from sparse, empty desert to choked, overflowing villages. By now, audiences are visually familiar with this space, but never before has it seemed so geographically tangible or has the danger felt so real.

What is even more remarkable is the trio of actors upon whom the film rests. Mackie and Geraghty beautifully color between the boring black-and-white of descriptors such as “straight-laced” and “sheepish.” Each has their moment to shine and supernova appropriately in the space provided.

That said, this is Renner’s announcement of presence, as he refuses to hobble on the crutches of the maverick war-hero stereotype. With wild eyes and undeniable charisma, Renner carves a portrait of the soldier as an excitement junkie, unable to make sense of things that can’t kill him. The film takes its name from the scraps of the more than 800 bombs James has disarmed that he keeps beneath his bed, as though he needs that danger close by just to sleep. In the finest scene, James stands immobilized in a grocery store stateside; a man who makes life or death decisions in the space of eye-blinks proves incapable of choosing between Lucky Charms and Cheerios. For him, war makes more sense than everyday life.

If this nuanced and thrilling film, and Bigelow in particular, go unheralded come award season, it will be an oversight of explosive proportions. If this challenging and tense film goes unseen by audiences, it will be a fate that is even more destructive.

Grade - A