Weekend Box Office: Fear the might of Affleck

Woohoo!!! Not only did The Town open well, it opened REALLY well. Clocking in way above estimates, the film looks to secure financing and demand for more Affleck-directed movies. Although I'd trade places with Affie most days, today is high on the list. Also killing it was Easy A, which clocked in at double the budget for the film. That's not a bad way to make an impression. Less dramatically awesome was The Devil, which suffered from no cast recognition and Shyamalan repulsion. It could have some legs though.

Okay, enough chitter chatter, let's get to recappin' haiku style:

1.) The Town - $24 million (Accuracy of prediction - 85%)

Now that's how it's done.
Keep racking up the dough, Ben!
I think you earned it.

2.) Easy A - $18 million (Accuracy of prediction - 89%)

I love Emma Stone.
I also loved this movie.
Highest recommend.

3.) Devil - $12 million (Accuracy of prediction - 100%)

I can't believe it.
The biggest twist for this one,
is the critic love.

4.) Resident Evil Afterlife - $10 million (Accuracy of prediction - 100%)

Bye bye zombie folk.
The next time I see you guys...
will be a sequel.

5.) Alpha and Omega - $9 million (Accuracy of prediction - 94%)

Poor CGI wolf!
You can't catch a break, can you?
Good thing I don't care.

Overall accuracy of prediction - 94%

Check out that total!
WOW! I am incredible!
I like this Monday.

Okay, that's it. Go forth and be merry. See you tomorrow!

Follow me on Twitter!

Weekend Box Office Results: There be dragons at the top...again

Wow, so that 3D thing helps then? I mean, don't get me wrong, I like the good news trumpet that everyone is blowing in regards to the returns that How to Train Your Dragon is bringing in, but you and I both know that's at least in part due to the inflated 3D ticket prices...especially because there was a dramatic increase in 3D ticket prices just before Alice in Wonderland posted that remarkable tally (especially given that the film was shit). Again, let me reiterate, I do not wish this Dreamworks dribbler any ill will. It's just that I'm tired of the love that gets dumped its direction when, really, it's just performing well, not incredible. Not performing even well: both The Losers and The Back-up Plan (which should be called the "Back-up and Walk Away, J-Lo" Plan.)

Here are the results, haiku style:

1.) How to Train Your Dragon - $15 million (Accuracy of prediction - 96.5%)

The dragons still reign!
This sounds like a fairy tale.
Just not a new one.

2.) The Back-Up Plan - $12 million (Accuracy of prediction - 90%)

So much for that, huh?
You had it all dear J. Lo.
Now? Vh1 time.

3.) Date Night - $10.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 80%)

Still truckin' along!
Good word of mouth must be out.
Slow but steady wins!

4.) The Losers - $9.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 51%)

I know there's a joke...
Something about how this failed...
Hmm...I'll think of it.

5.) Kick-Ass - $9.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 82%)

Overseas, it's hot.
This is good, because we suck.
I wanted better.

Overall accuracy of prediction - 80%

Not a bad effort,
but certainly not my best.
Sounds like a Monday.

Okay gang, that's it. Behave on this start of the workweek and I'll see you tomorrow.

Weekend Box Office Results: A photo-finish!

Rumor has it that these numbers may be slightly tweaked by the day's end in a way that could rejiggle the order. I don't care. This order most benefits me, and I always use the projections. The box office has been on absolute fire this spring, which just goes to show you that the next time you hear a recession is coming, it's the right time to invest in a mediocre movie that appeals to all demographics. Anyway, here's how the weekend went, haiku style:

1.) Date Night - $27.1 million (Accuracy of prediction - 96%)

I love Tina Fey.
And Steve Carell is cool too.
I'm happy for them.

2.) Clash of the Titans - $26.9 million (Accuracy of prediction - 99.5%)

An ungodly drop,
but it was so expected.
A "one and done" flick.

3.) How to Train Your Dragon - $25 million (Accuracy of prediction - 92%)

This is doing well.
Yay "lack of competition."
Release a kid's film!

4.) Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married Too? - $11 million (Accuracy of prediction - 91%)

I have some questions,
beyond the title of this.
Like why was this made?

5.) The Last Song - $10 million (Accuracy of prediction - 92.5%)

Were this title true,
and this was Cyrus's last...
I'd be good with that.

Overall accuracy of prediction - 94%

Do you see that score?!!!!
This is easily my best.
I want to retire.

Okay gang, that's it. Happy Monday to ya. Have a good one, make it through, and remember that tomorrow is "Lost."

Weekend Box Office Results: The Dragon is mostly trained

The good news? The 3D extravaganza may not be as insanely huge as I feared. Sure, nobody is complaining about How to Train Your Dragon's opening weekend, but it isn't the jaw-dropping number I feared may have been posted. What I'm saying is, there's still a chance for some semblance of order to be restored. The rest of the top 5 though looks dismal. This may be the least-tasty buffet of films up top in some time. Thankfully, the Kraken gets released next weekend, and I just can't see that not being fun.

Anyhoodle, here are your weekend box office results, haiku style:

1.) How to Train Your Dragon - $43 million (Accuracy of prediction - 83.5%)

It could have been worse.
This number could be bigger.
There may still be hope.

2.) Alice in Wonderland - $14 million (Accuracy of prediction - 81%)

How is this still high?
It should have started to drop.
Damn you Tim Burton!

3.) Hot Tub Time Machine - $13 million (Accuracy of prediction - 60%)

This is a flop-o.
There were some big hopes for this...
They went...down the drain.

4.) The Bounty Hunter - $12 million (Accuracy of prediction - 77.5%)

The drop was minor.
The ladies do love Butler.
But not Aniston.

5.) Diary of a Wimpy Kid - $10 million (Accuracy of prediction - 75%)

This one fell quite hard.
The dragon took a big bite.
Thank God I don't care.

Overall accuracy of prediction - 75.5%

How fitting: a "C"
That's the grade these films deserve.
In fact, maybe less.

Okay, that's it. I know you want to be grumpy this Monday but don't be. It doesn't look good on you.